First Week

Started my internship this past week. First day was in Manhattan. It was orientation and training, the usual first day stuff. Then they decided to have me go to JFK for the rest of the week. I'm right next door to my dad now. Not happy about that. No ID so I have to be escorted to and from the office. I can't even leave the office all day. Plus there are no windows so I feel sick everyday. Oh and on Thursday I had to go home because I had food poisoning. Good thing the bathroom is inside the office. I'm basically supposed to be doing a quality assurance project but its taking off slowly. Been making copies and stapling papers. The only good part is I'm making $20/hr. I'll be able to get my car fixed and buy myself a computer for my birthday in 11 days. And also maybe a nook or kindle. So far week one was good.

All Too Fast

So I went to Barbados for a few days with my mom and her friend. It was my gift from my mom. Those few days were perfect. Come back home and I'm so depressed. I'm invisible to everyone. People who are supposed to be my friends are lying to me and leading me on. They've been having parties and BBQ's and not inviting me but invited people close to me. I'm not alone with this feeling of being left out. It's really annoying and on top of it my dad got me this internship that starts way too soon. I've been thinking about ending my life for the past 3 hours. No one will care. They say they will but they don't. Been crying for the past 2 hours. Got my car back earlier today and all I wanna do is drive it straight into a tree or an oncoming train. I just wanna be at a better place and stop crying myself to sleep every night.