So I went to Barbados for a few days with my mom and her friend. It was my gift from my mom. Those few days were perfect. Come back home and I'm so depressed. I'm invisible to everyone. People who are supposed to be my friends are lying to me and leading me on. They've been having parties and BBQ's and not inviting me but invited people close to me. I'm not alone with this feeling of being left out. It's really annoying and on top of it my dad got me this internship that starts way too soon. I've been thinking about ending my life for the past 3 hours. No one will care. They say they will but they don't. Been crying for the past 2 hours. Got my car back earlier today and all I wanna do is drive it straight into a tree or an oncoming train. I just wanna be at a better place and stop crying myself to sleep every night.